Tuesday, November 15th 2011 23:25

Beam me up Scotty! I seem to have found myself in a Utopian parallel world where bouncers smile and doorstaff don`t treat you like some inconvenient interruption to their surly, scowling-infused evening. As I float back down to Earth I realise that I am at the doors of the Sci-Fi themed, Industrial / Fetish / Gothic Club Antichrist. And, contrary to popular belief, it is conveniently located, not on another planet, but 2 minutes walk from Vauxhall tube station. Or, a fact that might appeal to those Underground phobics out there, my friend and I smugly discover that our 5 minute taxi ride from Victoria Station costs less than 2 single tube tickets. Hurrah.Within the folds of Antichrist`s Theatre of Sin, we are immediately treated to a pick`n`mix of debauched entertainment for our unfettered, perverted pleasure. The golden rule of Antichrist is “No solo wanking”, and this is demonstrated to dramatic effect by representatives from The Whores (a band fronted by the compere for the night: ScrodVille of Pariah Circus). The Whores manifest as mouth watering blondes in dirty raincoats flashing to reveal “no wanking” banners across their breasts, unkempt “pubic hair” and ejaculating cocks spraying the delighted crowd. Just as we are recovering from the resulting hysteria, then begins the seriously dark performance where a baby doll is wielded, its head on a long phallus with, surely not, a set of testicles where neck meets body. Our worst fears are confirmed when the head is torn off to release the flailing
cock underneath. This is so wrong, wrong, wrong, which is why we love it.The Cronenberg geeks amongst us will be familiar with the lines uttered by the Nicki Brand character in Videodrome:I think we live in overstimulated times. We crave stimulation for its own sake. We gorge ourselves on it. We always want more, whether it’s tactile, emotional or sexual.While she regards it as a negative trait, I don`t believe any of the individuals at Antichrist would agree; certainly not those responsible for the intoxicating performance showcasing the AMF Corsetry collection where facial reconstructions, confinements, live body modification and crucifixion are order of the day. Even the most hardened members of the crowd wince when the nails can`t quite hold skin to wood and pop out. “Long live the new flesh”.Nestling away in a secluded chamber we find ourselves in the well equipped dungeon area known as The Devil`s Playroom, a relaxing and non threatening space to wander into. The experienced Shibari and CP enthusiasts exist happily alongside those requesting guidance. This is cheerfully and patiently delivered by Antichrist dungeon staff. The all-seeing steely-eyed House Mistress Rebekka Raynor is there to demand and ensure appropriately depraved behaviour at all times.As I am there only platonically with my friend, we don`t wish to linger too long in the Couples` Darkroom, but just pop our heads in for a nosey peep. We find a lowlit, atmospheric space; somewhere to relax and enjoy sensuous pleasures of Dionysian character.With a dancing space entitled “Pure Fucking Industrial”, even a numpty like myself should be able to work out what the music of choice might be. Although I am open to my education in sub genres of Industrial music, by 2am I am well and truly tranced out by the indefatigable laser show as well as the vibes. I am then ready for the alternative music choice then offered by the Hellfire Room, their Theatre of Sin performances concluded.Antichrist is an event which threatens to sodomise its rivals with its friendly staff, relaxed atmosphere, great chillout area which is perfect for people watching, happy hour till midnight, yummy Thai food for sale, free sweeties, free condoms and tissues, minimal queuing (a real achievement in this packed arena).However, the Piece de Resistance has to be the very lovely maids serving medicinal free tea, coffee, hot chocolate and biscuits in the Chillout Zone after 3am. Although I haven`t quite got to the Boy George stage – “Sex? I`d rather have a nice cup of tea,” after a night of Bataillesque excess and depravity, a lovely wee cup of tea goes down just dandy, thank you Antichrist.Photos courtesy of DM85. Many thanks.clubantichrist.com